~Upcoming Birthday Thoughts~

 My Birthday is coming up and to be honest nothings changed besides drama with people i never thought would happen Ive come to realize that you cant trust no one not even your family there are only a few i trust and i know wont betray me ...well i hope not but on topic  i just feel like somethings missing there are so much dreams i have and i don't know how to make them real i want to accomplish something in life i wanna do something that's helps people whether it be in health love ect...  but i don't know what it is im supposed to do on earth i believe everyone was meant to do something in life they have talents like singing writing ways with words miracle worker with there hands but me idk i haven't figured out what that is i don't know if I'm blocking whatever I'm supposed to be doing cause i put up so much walls to protect myself from mistakes like my family has made i just don't know its like im having a look inside me and wondering is this all I'm meant to do is this my destiny . I'm wondering if im sabotaging my own destiny by not finding my purpose in life cause someday i want to fall in love with my soul-mate and have a family but idk if that will happen if i cant find out what I'm meant to do i  wish i can go on a vision quest soul search to know what my path is in life ...